Newsletter

EPCUG, November 1996

INSIDE THIS ISSUE

  1. COREL Presentation - by Cindy Oyer
  2. Year 2000 - by Eric Nisly
  3. About Elkhart PC Users Group and Newsletter
  4. Upcoming Events
  5. President's Podium - by Brad Hooley
  6. Looking For Answers?
  7. Product Review - Quicken Financial Planner - by Marcus and Sherry Nisly
  8. Humor - TECH SUPPORT TALES
  9. Humor - Good thing nobody listened...
  10. Lions, and Tigers, and Games Night, Oh My....... - by Jon Slough, Program Director
  11. Community Events
  12. Door Prizes for October
  13. Latest Additions to the Shareware Resource Center
  14. Humor - T'was the Nite Before Implementation
  15. E-Mail - More Than Just Writing Letters - by Sherry Nisly
  16. Member Ads

COREL Presentation in October Was GREAT!

by Cindy Oyer

Elkhart PC Users Group

A presentation of Corel's new Word Perfect Suites highlighted the October general meeting. In March of this year, Corel purchased Novell's desktop application business, and began an overhaul of both the product design and their market positioning. According to (whatever his name was), Corel has now overtaken both Microsoft and Lotus to become the new market leader in this category. The two new suites are fully 32-bit, designed specifically for Windows 95. Products for both Windows 3.x and DOS users will be available in 1997.

Corel WordPerfect 7 Suite includes WordPerfect 7, Quattro Pro 7 and the Presentations graphics software. It adds some new features, including CorelFlow3, Corel Screen Saver, Envoy 7, Quick View Plus, Dashboard 95, Sidekick 95, 150 fonts and 10,000 clip-art images. The second suite, Corel Professional Office 7 contains all of these programs plus Borland's Paradox 7, Corel A to Z, Corel Draw6 illustration module, InfoCentral, 200 photos and 1,000 fonts.

The products in these suites are more tightly integrated than those in their predecessors or in their competitors. They use common menus and toolbars across the major applications, making it easier to learn new tasks. They contain many new features, including new Internet-enhancing functions. For example, any document you create in WordPerfect 7 can be translated to either HTML or Java with the click of a button, with hypertext links to other URLs automatically integrated. You can link your Quattro Pro spreadsheets to Web pages for automatic updating. With these tools you can publish your own professional-looking Web Page without learning programming.

Another new tool is the "Ask the Perfect Editor," which allows you to ask for help on almost anything in natural language. "How do I print an address on an envelope?" will take you to an appropriate help screen. On-the-fly spell checking and 300 levels of UNDO add great ways to protect us from ourselves!

Why should you buy a whole suite of products when you only want one or two? Well, the bad news is that Word Perfect 7 is not available as a stand-alone application. The good news is that the entire basic suite is available as an upgrade for a street price of $95 or less. And, if you're short of disk space, you can choose to install only one application or any part of the package.

If you currently own any of these applications or their competitors, you are eligible for an upgrade. The Professional suite is currently selling as an upgrade for around $250.

Our thanks to Corel for an excellent presentation!

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Will the Year 2000 Be a Problem for Your Computer?

by Eric Nisly

Elkhart PC Users Group

A major food warehouse dumps thousands of dollars worth of "outdated food," a law firm's computer begins deleting recent clients entire files. These are incidents caused by databases that use a date to make decisions. It seems every computer magazine and every computer show lately has discussed what effect the turn of the century will have on our computers. Most pentiums will not have a problem but many 486's and nearly all earlier computers will. This will pose no problem for the person who uses their computer mainly for games. But if you use any finance program and many databases (depending on what you use them for) you might want to check yours out.

To check your computer, at the DOS prompt;
Set the date to Dec. 31, 1999
Set the time to 11:58 p.m.
Turn off your computer and wait a few minutes.

When you turn it back on, check the date. It will read either 01/01/2000 or 01/01/80. This will tell you that you join the ranks of millions who will be looking for a fix for the problem.

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About Elkhart PC Users Group and Newsletter

The newsletter of the Elkhart PC Users Group is published 11 times yearly. With each issue, more than 700 copies are mailed and distributed.

The purpose of the Elkhart PC Users Group is to help each other and to share information and experiences relating to software, hardware, systems and platforms (incl. DOS, Windows3.x, and Windows95) in the personal and business computing realm.

The user group does NOT endorse, rate, or otherwise officially comment on products, and readers are cautioned to rely on the opinions presented exclusively at their own risk.

EPCUG meets the fourth Thursday of the month, except for November and December. We combine both those meetings and meet the first Thursday in December. EPCUG Meetings are held at Crown International, 1718 W. Mishawaka Rd., Elkhart, IN Doors to the meeting open at 6:30 p.m., the meeting starts at 7:00 p.m.

Monthly Advertising Rates: Full-page: $40 Half-page: $20 Quarter-page: $10 Eighth-page (business card): $5 New ad discount program: Advertisers receive a 10% discount when placing monthly ads of half page, or larger, and prepay for one year. Call any officer for ad placement.

Deadline for ads is the first day of the month of publication. Sponsorships will appear in the newsletter following submission. Payment for advertising must be received at the time of submission or upon receipt of an invoice and paid by check or money order made payable to:

The Elkhart PC Users Group.

All proceeds from advertising and sponsorship in this publication are used to support the publication itself.

To become a member of EPCUG and to receive your FREE copy of the EPCUG newsletter by mail, fill out the membership form found in this newsletter, and mail it to EPCUG at the address shown below. To extend your membership for a year, sign the member list at any meeting. We welcome all comments, articles, and ideas! EPCUG P.O. Box 13 Elkhart, IN 46515-0013

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Upcoming Events

December 5 General Meeting GAMES NIGHT Door opens at 6:30 p.m., starts at 7

December 14 Genealogy SIG Elkhart Public Library 10:00 am - noon

January 11 Genealogy SIG Elkhart Public Library 10:00 am - noon

January 23 General Meeting Lotus Development (Not Confirmed) or The Internet Wars: Netscape versus Explorer

February 8 Genealogy SIG Elkhart Public Library 10:00 am - noon

February 27 General Meeting Parsons Technology showing tax software and several other software packages.

March 8 Genealogy SIG Elkhart Public Library 10:00 am - noon

March 27 General Meeting The program not used in January

Please keep watching for updates and changes.

General meeting are held at Crown International, 1718 W. Mishawaka Rd., Elkhart, IN

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President's Podium

by Brad Hooley

Elkhart PC Users Group

October's meeting marked the beginning of a couple of changes in my life. It was my first meeting as president of EPCUG. Corel gave a great presentation on their new Word Perfect Suite, which has had some great changes and enhancements made to it. In many ways it was a great night, but it was also the night I learned my mother-in-law has terminal cancer. It is in the advanced stages and not a lot can be done. It makes all the problems of my day to day life seem insignificant.

We take so many things for granted, and our good health is one of them. Gary Oesch was injured in an accident a year ago and was paralyzed. He has begun to get some movement back in one of his hands so his family got a laptop for him to use. The problem is that he cannot use it by himself yet. He likes to play Solitaire, but he needs a little help with the trackball. If anyone has an extra hour, he and his family would greatly appreciate the help. He is staying at Greencroft nursing home in Goshen. Contact Lyn Cikara in the physical therapy department at 537-4000 to set up a time.

As everyone knows by now, we had a problem getting our newsletters mailed last month. On October 1st, the post office required that our mailing list be certified for correct addresses to qualify for our bulk mailing rates. John Matwyshyn worked with the post office to get it done, but it wasn't completed until a couple of days before the meeting. At that point we decided to distribute them to the members at the meeting and then mail the rest. Now that we are certified, we should not have this problem again and we will also be getting better rates than before.

One of the first responsibilities of the new board was to take care of our appointed positions. Paul Frushour will continue as Treasurer, and Sherry Nisly as Resource Center Director. Eric Nisly is taking over as Newsletter editor, and Chris Fendt is in charge of advertising.

Our November/December meeting on December 5th is games night. This is a great way to test drive some new software before buying. There will be commercial and shareware for kids and adults. Bolt Computer has also donated a multimedia package to EPCUG that will be auctioned. This package, valued at $479, includes a 10X CD Rom, Sound Blaster 32 sound card, 3 speakers, bundled software, and installation at Bolt. This is just in time for Christmas, so bring your checkbook(Bolt will also accept major credit cards for us).

As we enter this holiday season, we need to think about what is really important in our lives. I read a survey of retired people recently that asked "If you could change any in your life, what would that be?" The majority response was "I'd spend more time with my family" Best Wishes to you and your family during this holiday season.

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Looking For Answers?

Questions and Answers

Q. When I open file manager in Windows 3.1, I don't have any files listed, only my directories show. I've checked and my "VIEW" setting is on "Tree and Directory."

A. This has happened to at least two other members in the past few months so don't feel alone. Most likely you have just done a 'search' and for some reason Windows decided to reset a default for you. Go back to your "VIEW" settings and click on the bottom choice "BY FILE TYPE" which will bring up a new box. The first line on the left says "Name" followed by a fill-in box. If this has anything except *.* you've found your problem. Delete whatever is there, if it is different, and insert *.* Click on OK and hopefully your files will all be back. *****

Q. I have a really huge file in my Windows directory called WIN386.SWP

A. This is the temporary swap file used by Windows in 386 enhanced mode when a permanent swap file does not exist. Windows deletes this file upon exiting. For a better understanding, look up swap files in your Windows manual.
CAUTION: This file should never be deleted while Windows is running, it will cause your system to lock up.
NOTE: Do not confuse this file with 386SPART.PAR or SPART.PAR, these two files make up your permanent swap file and should be removed using Control Panel ONLY, they are never to be removed manually. *****

Q. I have a directory on my hard drive that is filled mostly with files ending with a .tmp extension. There are a lot of files there (about 25 meg worth) what are these?

A. This directory, usually called TEMP, is used by Windows and WFWG 3.11 to store temporary files while it (or a program) is using them. The first thing you should know is that these files should never be deleted while Windows is running, it is likely atleast one of them is being used. The next thing to do is set Windows to empty this directory when it closes. If you are comfortable working with your .ini files follow these instructions, if not, have someone who is familiar with them help you do this.
1. In Program Manager, go to file and then run.
2. Type sysedit in the pop-up box and hit the enter key.
3. Look for a line in your autoexec.bat file which reads: SET TEMP=
This line should end with the location of the /TEMP directory
If it does not, or the line is not there;
4. Add/amend the line SET TEMP=C:\TEMP (or the actual location of the temp directory)
Capitalization is not important *****

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Product Review Quicken Financial Planner

by Marcus and Sherry Nisly

Elkhart PC Users Group

This review is a joint effort between Marcus and myself. He did the actual learning and entering of data, then went back through with me explaining all the details and entries.

Quicken Financial Planner (QFP) can be as simple or as complex as you desire. It has a Quick Plan that only takes about 10-15 minutes to fill out and gives you a basic overview of where you are and where you're going to end up at. The Full Plan goes into as much detail as any financial planner would do sitting at your dining room table or his office. Just about any financial variable is covered in the Full side of the program. You should plan on spending at least 1-2 hours to really fill in all the information unless, of course, you happen to know all your numbers off the top of your head! We are going to discuss the Full Plan here. Remember, you can skip parts or all of each area that we go through to put as little or as much time and information into QFP as you want.

The help areas are as little or extensive as you need. A multimedia financial expert is included to help you understand every area of the program. Tips and advice are also available in most areas.

The Introduction section deals with personal information. It covers areas such as when you want to retire, children and spouse information, college information (which I'll get back to in a later section). The latest Actuarial Tables are even included here so that you can estimate life expectancies based on the national averages and facts such as health, smoker/non, etc.

Income discusses types of income in two separate screens; 1.) Basic/ordinary types of income from wages, etc. and 2.) Other income such as one-time income from inheritance, or continual incomes from investments, trusts, etc.

Taxes can be based on today's dollar and rate of inflation or estimated on future expectations. You can use demographic aver-ages for your state, or enter actual figures from your tax returns. If, for example, you think your tax bracket might change, or if you have higher or lower tax amounts deducted from your paycheck, you can adjust these figures accordingly. Tips are included here on how to save on your taxes.

Social Security and Medicare taxes and expected retirement amounts are dealt with two ways here. You can use an estimated amount, or send for your pro-jected amounts based on your personal information obtained directly from the Social Security Administration. A card is included to get this information. There is even a graph showing inflation from 1927 to 1992. It was interesting to see where the high points came in and how the average has flowed.

The Savings section starts with your basic savings account and works through your IRAs and 401s, etc., on up to your mutual funds and stocks, putting in your balances and contributions and then making projections. This information and other areas can be easily imported from Quicken if you are using it so there is no need to reenter information already entered there.

Assets and Loans include detailed areas on insurance policies to help you determine how much you really need; the mortgage area which includes amortization and appreciation of your home; and special areas like dealing with a second home or commercial real estate which could be sold to help fund your retirement.

Living Expenses begins with regular daily expenses and continues through making plans for your children's college needs and your daughters wedding! Here again, if you're using Quicken for your regular expenses, this information is all importable. Calculating college expenses is based on an extensive database of college information for the 1995-1996 year from public and private schools across the nation. Over 1,700 colleges and universities are listed in this database. It includes their tuition fees (both in state and additional out-of-state fees), books, room and board, and other expenses. Student/ family contributions along with expected financial aid can be added into the figures. At this point inflation can be figured in to estimate what your college expenses will be when the time arrives so that you can plan your savings and investing programs to cover the needs.

Return is a section which deals with your investment planning based on what your allowable risk factors are at each given point in life. For example, when a person is 30 their allowable risk is much higher than someone 60 who will shortly be relying on those investments for part of their income. This section helps you choose where to place your investments and includes a Mutual Fund Finder with access to 4,400 funds rated by Morningstar, the country's leading mutual fund research firm. Quarterly updates for these funds can be directly down-loaded from Quicken's Internet site as they become available.

Results gives an overall first glance and assumptions in listing data you have entered. Alert has hints on trouble areas and tips on how to resolve them. The forecast and What-If area allow you to change items such as your retirement age and recalculate to see if your goals will be met. Quicken Financial Planner was extremely easy to use, Marcus used the manual to review the quick start and installation information, but never touched the manual after that. The multimedia tips, advice, and explanations given by Jane Bryant Quinn, a best-selling financial author and Newsweek columnist, were extremely helpful in areas which weren't fully self-explanatory. Going back to change information was also easy. For example, when Marcus first entered our insurance policies he 'guesstimated' the amounts. We simply clicked on Assets/Life Insurance and entered the correct figures and values. Everything was then updated with the new information. Since we do happen to use Quicken for our daily expenses that area was easily entered and calculations involving those figures where easier, but they would not have been that difficult to manually enter either.

I have to comment here, that I have seen programs used by professional financial planners. You know, the ones you pay to sit down with you and figure out where you are, where you're going, and how much you need to invest to get there. Doing planning and calculations just like this program does without spending several hundred dollars.

All in all, we couldn't find any bad points with QFP. Even if one still needs additional advice from an expert, the costs would be cut drastically with all this information already on hand. I think Quicken has done an excellent job of preparing QFP to meet the needs of making basic and intermediate financial decisions to plan for a decent life and retirement.

The following is a listing of their bundled deals which include QFP:

Quicken Special Bundle $74.95
Quicken 6 for Windows/Disk ($34.95)
Turbo Tax/Disk ($39.95)
Quicken Financial Planner/Disk ($39.95)

Quicken Deluxe Bundle $99.95
Quicken Deluxe 6 for Windows/CD-ROM ($59.95)
Turbo Tax Deluxe/CD-ROM ($49.95)
Quicken Financial Planner/CD-ROM ($39.95)

Quicken Deluxe Super Bundle $119.95
Quicken Deluxe 6 for Windows/CD-ROM ($59.95)
Turbo Tax Deluxe/CD-ROM ($49.95)
Turbo Tax State/Disk ($24.95)
Quicken Financial Planner/CD-ROM ($39.95)

Turbo Tax Deluxe and Financial Planner Bundle $64.95
Turbo Tax Deluxe/CD-ROM ($49.95)
Quicken Financial Planner/CD-ROM ($39.95)

Turbo Tax and Financial Planner Bundle $54.95
Turbo Tax/Disk ($39.95)
Quicken Financial Planner/Disk ($39.95)

Family Lawyer and Financial Planner Bundle $49.95
Quicken Financial Planner/CD-ROM ($39.95)
Quicken Family Lawyer/CD-ROM ($29.95)

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******************

TECH SUPPORT TALES

******************

* Exasperated caller said she couldn't get her new computer to turn on.
Customer: "I've pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens."
Tech: "Foot pedal?"
Customer: "Yes, this little white foot pedal with the on switch."
- The foot pedal turned out to be the mouse.

* Many people have called to ask where the "any" key is on their keyboards when the "Press Any Key" message is displayed.

* One customer complained that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on it.
- The dust cover turned out to be the plastic bag in which the mouse was packaged.

* One customer held the mouse in the air and pointed it at the screen, all the while clicking madly.

* A customer was having diskette problems. After trouble shooting for a while (magnets, heat, etc.), tech asked the customer what else was being done with the diskette.
Response: "I put a label on the diskette, roll it into the typewriter..."

* A user came into a service bureau with a file on a 5.25 inch disk. The proprietor apologized and explained that the user would have to get the job transferred to a 3.5 inch disk first.
The user asked, "Couldn't we just get a scissors and trim it?"

* A customer complied with a tech's request to send in a copy of a defective diskette.
A few days later, the tech received a letter from the customer along with a Xerox copy of the floppy.

Reprinted with permission
From: TEKTALES@aol.com

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Good thing nobody listened...

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year."
The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

"But what ... is it good for?"
Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968,
commenting on the microchip.

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

------------------------------------------------------
Reprinted with permission from
Omri's Humor Page (by Omri Weisman, omri@cs.bgu.ac.il)
WWW: http://www.cs.bgu.ac.il/~omri

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Lions, and Tigers, and Games Night, Oh My.......

That's right, the next meeting in December is the annual Games Night Thursday, December 5, at 7:00 p.m. This has been a very popular feature of the EPCUG's yearly calender of events. This year should be no different.

The room this year will again be split into two areas. The area closest to the door will be the "Family Area." In this area Brad Hooley's son will be showing several games that are of interest to a 5-year-old. There will be at least 5 other computers showing shareware games that are not the shoot-em-up games.

Jeff Nelson will be showing a program that is not a "game." The GOO program lets you alter pictures taken from several formats. I am working to have a small local network to run several network games, like hearts. You can play against several other players.

Jeff's company, Bolt Computer, is providing a very high quality Multi-Media system to be auctioned off. This system includes large speakers, a fast CD-ROM, a high quality sound card, and the most important item, installation in your system.

On the end of the room will be the "shoot-em-up" games. There will NOT be any adult games there that show inappropriate images. Game titles include Quake, Duke Nukem's newest version, Civilization II, and You Don't Know Jack. There are several more games not listed here.

Come and see the fun and be ready to purchase the shareware games from the Shareware Library.

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Community Events

St. Joseph County Public Library

Free Internet lecture and demonstrations

Main Library Multimedia Room

304 S. Main St., South Bend

Monday, December 9, 1996

3:00 p.m. repeated at 7:00 p.m.

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Door Prizes for October

Bob Irish The Herman Collection Howard Trumball WordPerfect Suite 7 F. Kalin WordPerfect Suite 7 Harold Fields WordPerfect Suite 7 Bob Hess WP Office Professional 7 Cathy Dowd Shirt Herb Sommers Internet Mania Dick Bracken Shirt EPCUG WP Office Professional 7

Thanks to Corel!

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Latest Additions to the Shareware Resource Center

JIXXA
Recreates a true jigsaw puzzle on screen. You simply won't find a better rendition of jigsaw puzzles on the computer anywhere.
WORLD EMPIRE III
Resembles a computerized version of RISK. Offers a fast, abstract strategic contest.
GOMOKU NARABE
Based on an ancient Japanese game of "five-in-a-row," Played on a representation of a GO board using small, smooth convex black and white stones. Get five stones in a row (horizontally, vertically or diagonally).
SWORD MASTER v2.5
Makes memorizing scripture both easy an fun. Comes with over 220 verses from both the King James and NIV Bibles grouped by topic. You may add new topics and verses.
GRAB-A-SITE
Download complete Web pages to your hard drive at your convenience. Give it the URL of one Web page (or several), and it follows as many links from those pages as you want it to.
INTERNET MARAUDER
Retrieve all the files you want from any part of the Internet. Configurable parameters for determining which links to follow and which files to retrieve.
POPUP CALENDAR
Add the day of the month to your Win95 system tray with Popup Calendar. Will bring up a small calendar for the current month. Select a date and copy it to the clipboard in one of several formats
SAY THE TIME
Have your computer kindly remind you of the time by announcing it. You can set it to harrass you every 15, 30, or 60 minutes, or turn it off temporarily for those late weekend sojourns.
WIND CHIMES
Any card that can play MIDI sounds will do. Wind Chimes uses sophisticated algorithms along with your card's built-in synthesizer to duplicate the unpredictable patterns of real wind chimes.
EZ DOWNLOAD
A plug-in for downloading. It plugs into: Navigator, Internet Explorer, or AOL's Browser. It can download to the right folder, retrieve, move, unzip, scan for virus, locate the install program and clean up afterwards.
BIBLE SUPER GAMES
Create word puzzles easily. Complete with a database of Bible references from which you can generate word search, word jumble, cryptograms, word matching, and word building puzzles.
CONVERT
Convert text format. HTML to RTF, HTML to text, text to RTF, Text to HTML, Wordstar to text, Long lines to shorter lines, and more. For Windows.
AUTOSPELL
Works with: America Online (WAOL 2.5 ), CSNav, Eudora Light 1.5.2 and above, Eudora Pro, Netscape Navigator 2.X and above, or WinCIM.
ECOPAD
A good way to print out those voluminous, ink-consuming files. It will swallow TXT and even WRI files, as long as there are no illustrations. Save paper, toner or ink, and file space. But keep your bifocals handy.
INTERLOG
Keep track of time and money spent while on-line. It monitors your Internet time and records it in a log file.
HEY, MACARONI! Screen Saver
Pieces of macaroni drop from the top of the screen. Magically growing faces, arms, and legs, they begin to dance to that annoying music, with lyrics especially designed to celebrate pasta in all forms.
HOME BUSINESS PROGRAMS
WINBIZ
Over 250 reports on starting, running, and improving your business.
MY LITTLE REALM'S CHARGING - DOS
Keep track of credits and payments for all your charge cards. Hotkeys for each card. Assign tax codes for possible deductions on home and business expenditures. Track credit rebates given for card use.
COMPLETE HOME BUSINESS GUIDE
Electronic book which you can launch from DOS or Windows. Survival tips for small business, how to raise money, and starting a profitable home-based business. How to reorganize your time for a home business, the legalities and tax advantage, and how to prepare a business plan.
COMPLETE MAIL ORDER BUSINESS GUIDE
DOS-based, 3-D interface reading program. Learn how and where to advertise, how to write order-pulling ads and profitable classified ads, and access a list of the hottest order-pulling newspapers.
ONE-MINUTE COMMUTER
Electronic book of strategies and ideas for working from home. Tips for money-saving approaches to business such as avoiding tax traps, putting your children on the payroll, and starting a business for under $500.
ADMAKER
Design small-business ads using fonts, clip art, drawings, and colored text in bold, italic, or underlined styles.

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T'was the Nite Before Implementation

T 'was the nite before implementation and all through the house,
Not a program was working, not even a browse.

The programmers hung by their tubes in despair,
With hopes that a miracle soon would be there.

The users were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of inquiries danced in their heads.

When out in the machine room there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.

And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a super programmer ( with a six-pack of "root" beer ).

Her resume glowed with experience so rare,
She turned out great code with a bit-pusher's flair.

More rapid than eagles, her programs they came,
And she cursed and muttered and called them by name.

On Update! On Add! On Inquiry! On Delete!
On Batch Jobs! On Closings! On Functions Complete!

Her eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean,
From weekends and nites in front of a screen.

A wink of her eye and a twitch of her head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
Turning specs into code; then turned with a jerk.

And laying her finger upon the "ENTER" key,
The system came up and worked perfectly.

The updates updated; the deletes, they deleted;
The inquiries inquired, and closings completed.

She tested each whistle, and tested each bell,
With nary a bomb, and all had gone well.

The system was finished, the tests were concluded,
The users' last changes were even included.

And the user exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt,
"It's just what I asked for, but not what I want!"

----------------------------------
Reprinted with permission from
Omri's Humor Page (by Omri Weisman, omri@cs.bgu.ac.il)
WWW: http://www.cs.bgu.ac.il/~omri

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E-Mail - More Than Just Writing Letters

by Sherry Nisly

Elkhart PC Users Group

Several members have picked up Juno free e-mail disks. Most of you probably had nothing more in mind than writing friends and relatives letters. While that is a very good idea, why stop there? Have you heard people talk about Usenet groups? These are where people online post notes to each other about everything under (and around and above) the sun? Well, many of these can be participated in with nothing more than e-mail service. Each day a server collects all the postings to a group and sends them out to everybody on the list. Next day you check your mail, get your pages of what everyone had to say and then you find something your want to respond to. Say it's a fruit discussion board and someone said "if you eat green tomatoes you'll get sick." Well, you know better, in fact, you have a great recipe for fried green tomatoes. So you send an e-mail to the server the next day it's included in the collection of messages that got distributed. In fact, a great e-mail group is on recipes.

How would you like to receive the news by e-mail? There are several free services available that will send you a brief synopsis on the major news stories, or stock market information. There are several sources that will send you daily e-mail of all kinds from software tips to a laugh for the day. The article "Why Dogs Don't Use Computers" in last month's newsletter is located on the Internet, but the list was also sent out by e-mail. Every day a new Top5 Reasons list is sent out (even tho there's never only 5 reasons). There's even a couple free courses on how to get all this stuff using e-mail that you take through, what else, your e-mail. Each day a lesson is sent to you with information teaching you how to get things using e-mail, and of course an assignment each day, usually to actually get something with your e-mail.

The possibilities using e-mail are really a great deal more than just "writing home to Mom and Dad." In fact, they are much greater than this newsletter will possibly let me explore. What I will do is collect as much information as I can and put it all on disk for you. This disk will be available from the library. From the information on that disk you'll learn how to get your news, your recipes, your laughs, and many other things using only your e-mail.

Information is also on the disk about a service that offers only e-mail for $6.95/mo. Unlike Juno, you can have attachments and there is no limit to the size of your messages or the attachments. It is not free, but some people may want just a little more than a 60K letter with no attachments. Also, be sure to check with the local Internet Service Providers, as many ISPs offer an 'e-mail only' plan.

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Member Ads

Don't forget members can place non-commercial ads in the newsletter FREE!

Change your word processor for another brand? Beat all the variations of that role playing game? Upgrade your modem or video card? Sell those unwanted items in the newsletter.

Ads are printed once, unless requested differently. Deadline is the last day of the month. Mail to:

EPCUG
P.O. Box 13
Elkhart, IN 46515


Last page -- We hope you've enjoyed our newsletter ...

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